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If your family member with depression is elderly, you may need to focus on their safety. In some cases he may not remember to take medications as prescribed or may not care. He may not be steady enough to care for himself. The loneliness and chronic medical problems of people in this age group put them at high risk for suicide. When you are not available, another family member or an outside sitter may need to be present at times until the situation improves. You may feel resentful, angry, or frustrated, as these are natural responses to the situation. Take a deep breath, go for a walk, talk to a friend, or get professional help yourself. This can be in individual therapy or by going to a support group for family members. Coping in this situation means paying attention to your feelings, managing your stress, and getting the help you need, too. Then try to focus on helping your loved one find professional treatment. This is a challenging time. Try to encourage your family member to be patient and stick with the proposed treatment plan. 
The Curtains Close
Keep in mind that she will most often experience a combination of symptoms at the same time. You may then have to overlap and customize your approach to her based on the suggestions below. If your family member shows persistent sadness or irritability, your initial response may be to acknowledge this. You can do this by asking open questions and helping her explore her feelings without prying. If you get no response, you could go on to ask, What do you think is the reason for this? Has anything happened? Your family member may realize that her overall sadness is not related to any one thing in particular. Or she may find that something triggered her sadness, such as a major loss or disappointment. It may be one or several things. After identifying the potential cause of her sadness or irritability, you might ask her to think of ways she can deal with it. Is there anything she can do to repair or replace the loss or change the outcome? If so, try to help her find a solution. Identify the problem. Get accurate information about the problem. Consider the options and alternative solutions. It's Getting Dark In Here
Identify the necessary steps to address the problem. Determine who needs to assist her. If she finds no concrete ways to change the facts, try to shift the focus of your conversation to coping with it. Coping strategies are the things we all do to ease the stressors and challenges of daily life. People use an extensive range of tactics for this purpose. You might begin by asking your family member what she has done in the past to successfully cope with similar sadness or loss. You could say, Would you like to go for a run now or watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? This is often a helpful approach for people in similar situations. Refocus attention on social activities, hobbies, physical exercise, sports, reading, puzzles, music, movies, or volunteering. Begin by relaxing one muscle group in your body at a time. Slowly relax every other muscle group until all tension is released. In this practice, you stay present in the moment by paying attention, on purpose and nonjudgmentally, to what you are doing. You let go of worry about the past or future. Lives In The Balance
Become aware of your breathing. Focus on each breath. Observe what you feel, see, and hear without judging it. Continue to focus on each breath, in and out. When intrusive thoughts enter your mind, let them go without judging them or yourself. Return your focus to your breathing. This is a useful strategy for many people with mood disorders. Prioritize what you have to do. Break large tasks down into small steps. Include pleasurable activities and positive events in your day. Keep up with your friends and family. Occasionally, irritability becomes such a strong force that it leads the person who has depression to feel out of control. This pattern is more frequently seen in men and adolescents. If this applies to your family member, it requires your utmost patience. It’s a time for you to maintain stability, a steady routine, and structure at home. You may need to set expectations and limits on her behavior and remove any alcohol from the home. You may face resistance. Try to remain calm and firm and don’t cave in. Depression may have led your family member to lose interest in her life or things that previously gave her pleasure. They may now seem bland and a waste of time and effort. She may prefer to spend time alone, on the sofa watching television, or in her room staring at the wall. Try to engage her in those activities she once enjoyed in small steps and at a pace she can handle now. For example, if she used to like bicycling, you might say, The weather’s great today and I’d really like to get outside. I’d love it if you would join me for a short ride. We could aim for the old lemonade stand. She may or may not respond positively to this approach on any given day. Try not to set the bar too high. It means that your family member or friend should not wait to feel interested or motivated before taking action or joining in an activity. Once she begins to do something, the drive to do it will eventually follow and gain momentum. You might ask her to list things she is interested in or used to enjoy. Then try to provide opportunities for her to participate in them. If you provide the opportunity, she may be more likely to engage in the activity. For example, if she likes the family dog, you might ask her to do you a favor and take the dog for a walk. This may help her experience the pleasure of being outside, being with the dog, and helping you.