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A Hint Of Wistfulness

on January 21, 2022

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How can people who are so incredibly poor, so far removed from the necessities of modern life like electricity and indoor toilets and running water, still smile so genuinely? The people had nothing. But they seemed so happy, the businesspeople note plaintively. There is amazement in this observation and more than a hint of wistfulness. Why, with all of their good fortune, do the executives find it so difficult to beam happily at the world? How do I know this, and more important, why should you believe me? You don’t have to take my word for it. I will demonstrate the truth of it using your own life experience. No matter how burdened you feel now or how troubled your past has been, you have experienced freedom in your life! Have you ever come across a scene of such spectacular beauty that it took you outside yourself into a place of profound serenity? A place of peace and healing calm? Perhaps it was a brilliant rainbow after a sharp shower. Or the rolling ocean with big waves crashing in a hypnotic rhythm against pink sandstone cliffs. Or a jagged lightning flash in the midst of a storm of awesome, majestic power. You can recall such an occasion. Virtually everyone can. Have you ever wondered why you experienced what you did? It was not the place or the scene. The travel industry grows rich off people who return to places of magical moments hoping to recapture them.

Act Of Contrition

Act Of Contrition

You didn’t think, That’s a great rainbow, but it’s off to one side. If I could move it two hundred yards to the right, it would be more symmetrical and look so much better. Or, That’s a beautiful valley, but the tree in the foreground has too many crooked branches. If I had a chainsaw and twenty minutes, I could make it look really nice. Such thoughts never crossed your mind. The crooked branches of the tree had their own charm and were, likewise, perfect in their gnarled presence. When you accepted the scene exactly as it was, when you did not crave for it to be something else or different in some way, your habitual wanting self faded away. The happiness that is your inherent nature surfaced instantly, and you experienced its fullness. You didn’t have to do anything. It rose of its own accord, and you felt it. You know you felt it, because you still remember this scene after all the years that have passed. What you don’t recognize, what you don’t accept, is that your life is perfect.

Down The Line

Your life right now, with all of the trials and tribulations that you face, with all of the problems that weigh you down and cause you sleepless nights, is perfect. It is every bit as perfect as that scene you can recollect. No wonder you don’t experience the joy, the sheer happiness that is your essential nature. Does this mean that you should stop striving? That you shouldn’t try to achieve goals? That you shouldn’t try with all your might and main to improve your lot or build your business or accomplish great things? You should do all those things with every fiber of your being. If it happens, fine. If it doesn’t, still fine. You’ll discover that life is a blast, every day is full of wondrous surprises, and all of life is a joyous journey of discovery. Here is something strange, a wondrous paradox that many people have discovered. When you drop your insistence that something must happen in exactly the way you want it to, the chances of your getting what you desire increase greatly. To accept life exactly as it presents itself, even while striving to achieve a vision? To live a life of great joy and fulfillment in which each day brings many moments of radiant aliveness? It is a skill, no different from learning to ride a bicycle. You have a great meal at a restaurant, instantly put it on your list of favorites, and go back to it. You try a particular strategy at work and it is successful, so you repeat it over and over.

Never Stop

Think about how you use memory all the time. You experience something as good or bad by comparing it with some event you have stored in your memory, something you cling to. But when too much of your life is run by memory and you don’t even know it, you lose the ability to experience life spontaneously. That’s why the thrill of the rainbow or the verdant valley is so rare in your life. Think about your life, every aspect of it. How much of what you do, experience, and think is governed by memories? Did you smile as you read this? Wipe it off your face! I’ll wager that, by this definition, you are a certifiable lunatic. You too do a particular thing over and over. Often you fail utterly. But then you pick yourself up and do the same thing again and again and again. Yet you expect different results, and when you don’t get them, you feel miserable and wonder why. Don’t feel too despondent, because you’ve had plenty of help making this mistake and lots of company as well. This particular mode of thinking and acting is a cultural norm. It is extolled in elementary and high school, college, and the workplace. Large numbers of people make the same error you do and are your buddies in misfortune. What is this misstep that you and virtually everyone else make? You invest heavily in the outcome. In fact, you invest exclusively in the outcome. A very dumb thing to do for reasons I will detail shortly. First, a word of explanation. From a young age, we are taught to set goals for ourselves and then work toward achieving them. Managers are encouraged to set stretch goals and then try hard to meet them. The focus is exclusively on the goal. If you don’t achieve it, terrible.

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