Behavioral Change By An Effort Of Will

Road rage has caused heart attacks and led to murderous assaults. Should I include everyone who helped shape me and made me what I am? Or should I simply include only those who directly helped with the writing and publishing? That would be a short list and would exclude many whose contributions were less obvious but still significant. Adam, in particular, smiles sweetly as he helps me with my computer issues, of which I have many. He wanted to be mentioned twice, so he hopped on a plane and crossed the pond. I bet this is true of you. How long did it last? Odds are you were back to your old habits in short order until the next milestone, when you repeated the cycle again. There is a reason for this. When you try to bring about behavioral change by an effort of will, you actually do violence to yourself, and the chances are very good that you will not succeed. This is so universally true that you can actually make money from it. If you have a strong will and persist in your new behavior, you will likely encounter side effects you would rather not deal with. If you stop smoking cold turkey, you may eat too much and put on weight. Then you starve yourself to regain your ideal body weight, and your crotchety temper ruins relations with your family.

Give Rest To The Problems Weighing You Down

Violence to yourself is not a good way to go. My methods produce lasting behavioral change without unpleasant consequences, because the change does not come from an effort of will. As you examine these beliefs and make changes in them, you literally become a different person. And once you’re a different person, you behave differently and change happens naturally and effortlessly. Best of all, it lasts. You don’t have to worry about sliding back. When you change enough of your beliefs about this is the way the world works, the cumulative effect is massive. You will find your own tipping point on this. When you do, you will experience a paradigm shift in which you’ll see the world so differently that nothing is the same again. The shift in your consciousness will happen only if you do the exercises provided. Monks were lax in their practice, novices were leaving, and lay supporters were deserting to other centers. He traveled far to see a sage and recounted his tale of woe, saying how much he wanted to transform his monastery to the flourishing haven it had been in days of yore.

The Center of Attention

The sage looked him in the eye and said, The reason your monastery has languished is that the Buddha is living among you in disguise, and you have not honored Him. The abbot hurried back, his mind in turmoil. The Selfless One was at his monastery! No, he was full of sloth. No, he was too dull. But then the Tathagata was in disguise. He called his monks together and revealed the sage’s words. They too were taken aback and looked at each other with suspicion and awe. Which one of them was the Chosen One? The disguise was perfect. Not knowing who He was, they took to treating everyone with the respect due the Buddha. Their faces started shining with an inner radiance that attracted novices and then lay supporters. In no time at all, the monastery far surpassed its previous glory. That is how it works, and you can begin harnessing this power.

Breaking Down

Have you ever been driving to an appointment in heavy traffic when someone cuts in front of you and nearly causes an accident? Then you watch as this person continues to weave through traffic, instigating many near misses and angry honks? A hot flush of rage? Surging blood pressure? Not a pleasant feeling. The person in that car has just received news that his son was involved in an accident and is seriously injured. He is trying desperately to get to the hospital before surgery begins and is crying as he contemplates the real possibility that he may never see his son alive again. Now how do you feel? Do you experience a gush of sympathy? Do you wish a fellow human being well and send thoughts of strength and goodwill? Quite likely you will never know. And it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get to choose the emotional space you occupy when you contemplate what happens to you. You probably didn’t realize you have that choice, but you do. And by the way, you don’t expose yourself to the risk of suffering an accident. If you see the same car again later, you expect erratic behavior and are on guard against it. You just don’t have the emotional garbage of rage and dislike. Think of how many times in your life you have had such a choice and voluntarily decided to occupy a room with anger, frustration, jealousy, or hate. It happens much more often than you realize. It does not matter whether your instincts were accurate or not. The mere act of considering whether there was a more benevolent explanation for what happened is enough to dissipate the violent emotions that bedevil you. You will be more calm and deliberate, and your actions will be more effective. If someone points it out to you, your tendency is to deny it. Even if you acknowledge it, you don’t feel particularly troubled. In fact, doing it is embedded into our culture. What is it that is so common and so deleterious? It is your habit of making instantaneous judgments about everything and then sticking a label on whatever happens. In particular, I am talking about the labels good thing and bad thing. Observe yourself as you go through a typical day. Stuff happens to you. As it does, you immediately judge it and label it. So often that you no longer recognize that you’re doing it. You go to the coffee machine, and only the dregs of the previous pot