Do Not Do This Casually, But Think Deeply About It

You do things for other people. You have traveled so long and hard on the path of darkness and unbridled sensual enjoyment that it will be eons before you can regain the distance you have lost and again reach your lost position on the path of light. However, this particular problem has an easy solution. Tell me, said the emperor eagerly. Instruct me so that I may be at ease. Come to me at the temple tomorrow, said the holy man. I will give you a scroll. Anytime you are confronted with a problem, anytime you are feted and praised, read this scroll and ponder its message. Do not do this casually, but think deeply about it. If you do, it will reveal its secret to you. He turned and strode out. So the ruler went to the temple, obtained the scroll, and did as he was bidden.

A Face In The Crowd

A great change came over him. It began slowly, but then it gathered momentum, and his subjects were amazed at the transformation in him. No longer was he subject to tantrums and arbitrary dispensations of punishments and favors. His temperament was equable and his judgment reasoned. So great a monarch did he become that there was universal bemoaning when he left this world. After a brief period of mourning, his son took the throne and, with great curiosity, unfurled the scroll. Truly there is great wisdom here, he reflected, as he contemplated the four words that were written there. They drive others hard and themselves even harder as they strive to remake their neck of the woods in a manner to their liking, and their egos are huge. They frequently reach positions of power and influence and bask in the adulation of a society in which material success is envied. They glory in this and try to get more, going faster and even faster on the treadmill. Odds are good that you’re not like that. You contribute to charities.

Where I End And They Begin

If there’s a disaster in some part of the world, you call the help line and give something. You may even volunteer for some worthy cause on a regular basis. You’re a decent citizen working to do your bit to make the world a better place. You seek approbation. You want people to think well of you and pat you on the back. You want to be recognized as a caring individual. You have an image of what a responsible person is like, and you strive to make your actions fit this mold. Nothing, nothing at all. That’s just the way it is. You try to achieve happiness by overtly grabbing stuff for yourself in a ruthlessly competitive manner, and whether you succeed or not, you’ll get knocked on the head. In my programs, women of Asian origin who vehemently disagree with the preceding statement sometimes accost me. Many come from cultures where they are the caregivers for the generations before and after them, and they feel emotionally burnt out.

One Step Closer

This is especially true of those who are also highly educated and professionally qualified. This is also the beef of some parents who feel worn out after years of caring for their children. The women come from a milieu where there are cultural expectations, and they are well regarded if they conform to those expectations. So they try to fit in by overtly putting the welfare of others ahead of their own, even while resenting this inwardly. Over time, this divergence between feeling and action becomes a mass of seething resentment that eventually boils over. Similarly, the parents have fixed notions of how their children should behave for their own good and try to force them into this model. They expect the universe to conform to their views and suffer if it doesn’t. They never recognize that they cause their own suffering. And sooner or later, this leads to pain. There is a balance here, and that’s what you frequently don’t recognize. Yes, you do need to fit into your social framework. Yes, as a parent, you do have a duty to teach your child and educate her according to your best understanding. And it will inevitably lead to a feeling of ennui and emptiness. That’s simply the way it is. The annoyance when an elderly, befuddled lady takes forever to pay the cashier and painstakingly puts the change back in her wallet. And the way you stew when your pompous colleague drones on and on in an office meeting. See how many of your interactions are superficial. Do you say, Good morning as a cursory greeting and walk on before the other person even has a chance to reply? When you say, Good morning, sincerely wish the person every blessing. Do this silently as you make eye contact and hold it. Imagine you’re a searchlight capable of beaming out goodwill and benisons. Direct this powerful light at people with whom you interact. It is my duty and privilege to be of service. The slightest hint of expectation destroys much of the power of this exercise. Rather than expecting thanks, be thankful that you’ve been given an opportunity to be of service. See how, as you really get into the spirit of the exercise, good feelings arise in you in great gushes. It may take some time, but they will come. Also, be warned that’s extremely difficult to hold on to this model all the time and with everyone. Do pick specific people to whom you can be of great service with no thought of self. Do a little bit more each week, and don’t beat up on yourself for not being more successful in this task. But this is merely a starting phase. When you’ve done it long enough, it becomes a part of you. That’s when you’ll receive the greatest benefits from the exercise. Is anything for real? A man will find that as he alters his thoughts towards things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.