How Many Of The Problems Resolved Themselves?

How many of the problems resolved themselves? Talk to your parents, siblings, and friends and use their recollections as well. They have disappeared like morning mist does when the sun comes out. How many of the things you wanted so desperately did you eventually obtain? Again, chances are that you did get many of them. Did it really matter? Did you get the lasting satisfaction you thought you would get? Write down the lesson from this exercise. We will come back to it. As you go through the day, do you come radiantly alive with a deep sense of purpose? Are there many times when you feel like sinking to your knees in involuntary gratitude at the tremendous good fortune that has been bestowed on you? Do you sense, deep down, that you are doing exactly what you were put on earth to do, and is each day joyous beyond measure? If your answer to most of these questions is no, can you clearly see that you are getting closer to it each week, each month, each year? If your answer is again no, I humbly suggest that you are wasting your life. And life is far too short to be wasted. We tend to use the word happy cavalierly, and it has become debased. I am not talking about the momentary rush of good feeling you experience on such occasions. A deep knowledge that your life is on track and cannot deviate. This does not mean that you do not face challenges, some of them quite serious. It does mean that even as you do what you must, you are still conscious that fundamentally you are fine and always will be.

Everybody Has A Dream

You cannot be anything else. So, defined this way, are you happy? The vast majority of people are not happy. They are not brimming with joy. Anxiety is a frequent and unwelcome guest in their lives. There is always an undercurrent of stress, and it overwhelms them all too often. Henry David Thoreau was remarkably accurate when he observed that most people lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still with them. Does this, perchance, describe your situation too? What do you have to get to be happy? That is a good question. Say, as with Aladdin, a genie granted you three wishes. What would you ask for, and would it make you happy? Most people have a wish list featuring vast wealth, a trophy spouse, good health, close friends, a stimulating job, lots of leisure, and bright children, along with stuff like fame, power, and a body like Adonis or Aphrodite. If you have such a list, throw it out. What I have to say may startle you. There is nothing that you have to get, do, or be in order to be happy.

Breaking The Code Of Silence

In fact, happiness is your innate nature. It is hardwired into your being. It is always with you. The question that has probably popped into your mind is, If happiness is my innate nature, how come I’m not experiencing it? How come I’m experiencing ‘my life sucks’? My answer will startle you even more. You do not experience the happiness that is your innate nature because you have spent your entire life learning to be unhappy. It is absolutely true, and you have done it unconsciously and unknowingly by accepting that you have to get something so you can do something so you can be something. Thus you feel that you have to get a lot of money so you can travel to exotic places so you can be happy. I have heard thousands of variations on this. People say, I would be happy if . I married a beautiful and loving spouse. My son got into Harvard. My husband would show some interest in me and the house.

Deep Deep Feeling

My wife would stop nagging me the instant I turn on the game. My children would grow up and go to college. I lost twenty pounds. I didn’t have this nagging headache all the time. I got ten million dollars. And on and on and on. Look at all the people around you and in your life. The only way in which you are different is the particular if you crave. Look back at your own life. This is really important, so don’t rush on. Think of your life as it is right now, as you would describe it in your journal or to a close friend. It is an excellent idea to actually write your description down and read it again after a few days. You will notice that, explicitly or implicitly, you have a wish list in the document. The model itself is fallacious. But instead of recognizing this, you simply change the items on the if side of the equation. Five years later, he was convinced that a hundred million was the mark that separates the men from the boys and something magical would happen when he crossed that line. He is now chasing a billion dollars and is not far from it. Variations of this are all around you and especially in your own life. Two decades later, it takes a new Lexus to get the same feeling, and this one doesn’t last either. That won’t do it either. Remember what I pointed out earlier. There is nothing that you have to get, do, or be in order to be happy. The more you believe in that model and try to manipulate it to become happy, the more happiness eludes you. That is how you learn to be unhappy, and most people never catch on to it. Visualize it as clearly as you can. You had a wish list in those days as well. Quite a few people are shocked to discover that it has not and wonder why. Many have traveled widely, and they frequently tell me they’ve visited some deprived part of a developing country and were struck by the misery they observed.