Learn To Invest In The Process, Not The Outcome

Learn to invest in the process, not the outcome. This starts early in life. Each of these goals is an outcome, and outcomes are totally beyond your control. You can flawlessly execute the actions that you think will lead you to success and still not reach your desired outcome. Doug had been working long hours and traveling a lot. It preyed on him, and he decided to make amends. It was his way of expressing his love, and he looked forward to a weekend of intimate companionship when he got home. His wife’s lip curled when she saw what he had bought. Don’t you know I never wear stuff like that? she began, and it went downhill from there. He slept on the living room sofa and was happy to escape to work on Monday. When she presented her findings to her boss, she expected a pat on the back for her diligence. Instead, he blew up.

Too Far Gone

Have you nothing better to do than keep tabs on how many minutes late he came back from lunch? he stormed. She found herself warned instead. Gary’s company placed great emphasis on teamwork and cooperation, and Gary was mindful of this. He curbed his naturally aggressive tendencies. When others accosted him, he bit his lip and replied politely. You’re a good worker, his manager assured him. But you need more drive. You have to make tough decisions as a partner. Keep trying and you may make it in two years when the next batch of partners is selected. Charlie hung up the phone, quivering with excitement. He and he alone had accomplished this stunning feat. They have to make me president when the old codger retires next year, he thought disrespectfully of his boss.

See Your Sunshine

They don’t have other options anymore. He organized a spectacular gala with a Nobel Prize laureate as guest speaker, along with celebrity entertainers. The businessman handed over the check and spoke about integrity and hard work, exhorting students to have the former and do the latter. It was a splendid success. The very next week the entrepreneur was indicted on multiple counts of fraud and accused of bribing high public officials and of money laundering. It made the headlines of all the newspapers and the national evening news. Irate trustees accused Charlie of laxness in due diligence and forced his resignation. They, however, kept the money and the old codger wrangled himself a lusher pension. Think back on your own life. Recall how many outcomes you have mightily worked for and failed to achieve. How bad did you feel after each failure? In all your life of striving, you have arrived at the outcomes you wanted only a tiny fraction of the time. Remember, outcomes are outside your control.

Forgive Yourself

You are also setting yourself up for failure, dejection, and despair. Yet this is what you do time after time. Even a cursory examination of your life will show that, more often than not, the outcome you wanted did not occur. You can invest in the process rather than in the outcome, which is a learnable skill. You do this by explicitly recognizing and acknowledging that outcomes are outside your command. You set your goal and determine your desired outcome, and having done that, you make your peace with whatever happens. If you succeed, wonderful! If you don’t, still wonderful. Your happiness does not depend on whether or not you reach that outcome. Actions are within your control, so you focus on what you have to do with every fiber of your being. You do it with full concentration and determination. In short, you invest in the process. The outcome, whatever it is, is fine with you. If you do get to where you wanted to, then wherever you get to becomes a new starting point, and you repeat the process all over again. And you do this time and time again. When you function this way and invest in the process, you cannot fail. Every day becomes a blast. John Wooden was the first person to be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame as both a player and a coach. Instead, I would tell my players before the games, When it’s over, I want your head up. There’s only one way for your head to be up, and that’s for you, not me, to know that you gave the best effort of which you are capable. If you do that, then the score really doesn’t matter, although I have a feeling that if you do that, the score will be to your liking. I honestly, deeply believe that in not stressing winning as such, we won more than we would have if we had stressed outscoring opponents. The universe doesn’t pay much attention to your puny wants. You can hang on grimly to your vision of how things should be, which is usually bruising and unpleasant. This way is just plain fun and invigorating. See how all of the unease comes from your resistance to what is in front of you, from your staunch insistence that things have to be the way you want them to be. This doesn’t mean that you should give up all your plans and hopes. It does mean that you should strive as you always have but refuse to let an adverse outcome affect your equanimity. Learn to be a Daruma doll. Ben Hur has escaped from being a slave and is returning to Judea in style as the adopted son of Quintus Arrius, consul of Rome. He meets Sheikh Ilderim, who has raised exquisite, milky white horses. They are mettlesome creatures, and time after time, they leave the track and crash the chariot to which they are hitched. Sheikh Ilderim is adamant that whips and chastising devices may not be used. A few weeks later, these horses sweep to victory in the climactic chariot race, triumphing over the black steeds of Roman tribune Messala, who freely uses his whip to no avail.