Let Your Own Guard Down, And People Will Let You In

No one is out to get you! Let your own guard down, and people will let you in. Everyone really only lives within himself or herself, so you don’t have a responsibility to create your friends’ worlds. Love is all around, just look and you’ll find it. Everyone is kind and gentle by nature. To her surprise, she found mountains of evidence to show that this was the way things really were! Her experience of life was so much better with the model that she simply adopted it permanently. Select a person with whom you have interactions. Clearly recollect the last few dealings you had with this person. Now consciously acknowledge that she has the same desire you do. That she too wants to avoid suffering and be happy. Possibly, in her world, you are the cause of much sorrow. See that she, like you, is acting out a role and identifying with it. By doing this, you are taking the first step toward acknowledging that you’re the actor, not the character.

Be Good To Yourself

Next recognize that you are both human beings stuck in your respective predicaments and see what you can do to be of service to her. Record how you feel as you do this and afterward. Peter Drucker was well known as a management theorist, but he also had a keen understanding of the human predicament. It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves. And society is totally unprepared for it. But the happiness he thought would come never did. When he dug the company out of that one, he had to deal with multiple suicide bomb attacks on trains that transported his goods in Southeast Asia. Then there was the breakdown of key machinery that halted production on two continents. And then there were the people. Everyone wanted to talk to Larry personally. He became more efficient and divided his time into smaller slices.

On My Word

He got used to functioning at this pace, then he retired and his world came apart. Larry tried golf but it didn’t hold his attention. His wife threw him out of the house because she didn’t like him puttering around during the day and messing up the kitchen. In despair, he sought a meeting with a sage. At the appointed hour, he knocked on the door and was asked to enter. Out, said the sage wrathfully. There is no room here for such a crowd. What crowd? Larry questioned, puzzled. I gave you permission to meet me, said the sage, still nettled. I did not ask you to bring your wife, your board members, your children, your unemployed nephew, your deadbeat brother, and the rest of the horde. He came again the next day and the next and the next and the next. He came every day for a month, and each time, the holy man refused him entrance.

Into The Heart

One day, he became annoyed himself. There is no one with me today, he exclaimed. True, said the wise man, instantly understanding what he meant. But you are bringing things with you. And my hut is too small for all that you are trying to drag in. How can I get rid of this throng? he finally pleaded. The sage taught him what to do, and he went home and practiced it diligently. It took him many months, but one day he knocked again on the sage’s door. He was told to enter, and the sage did not send him away but instead asked him to take a seat. What was true of that hapless executive is true of you. Become conscious of the army you are lugging around with you each day. See how each person or thing clamors for attention and fights with other people and things to get it. Have you ever been introduced to someone and ten seconds later can’t remember her name? Have you ever started listening to a favorite song and suddenly realized that it had ended while your thoughts were elsewhere? Have you ever been driving and overshot your exit because you were preoccupied? Have you ever forgotten to mail a letter or buy an item your spouse requested or run an important errand? If any of these is true of you, you’re carrying a burden. You’re weighted down with your memories, your desires and hopes, your fears and aversions. You lack the ability to live in the present as you flit between the near and distant pasts and your visions of tomorrow and the day after. No wonder you’re so tired. If you were to approach the sage, he would turn you away as well. So what did he tell the executive, and can you avail of this advice as well? One way people try to cope with this situation is by multitasking. You probably do it too, and you may even consider it a strength. Many job postings list ability to multitask as a requirement, and some employers consider it admirable. Disabuse yourself of this idea. Multitasking simply means that you do many things badly and take much more time at it. You’ll discover this for yourself. Pick any task that you have to get accomplished and gather everything you need to work on it. Shut down your Web browser unless it is necessary for the task at hand. If it is, keep only those windows that are relevant open. Don’t have the radio or television on. Turn off the phone if you can. Visualize what you have to do and slow down your breathing. Note the time and commence your task with complete attention. Don’t allow any distraction to take away your focus. Remember that hurry is in your mind. Work unhurriedly, but as fast as you are able. Imagine yourself as a container of golden energy and pour yourself into the task. Some of them will seem urgent, and the demands will be incessant. Observe all of them calmly and let them go.