Overweight People Affirm That They Are Thin

Overweight people affirm that they are thin, financially struggling people affirm that they have abundant resources, desperately single people affirm that they are in a close relationship. You remain jobless and your unemployment compensation has run out, while your body mass index is now so poor that you no longer want to know what it is, you still can’t sleep because all the bills have come due, and you continue to be desperately single. There is less and less conviction in your affirmations each day. When you begin using affirmations with radiant hope and the results you expect do not transpire, you could well be knocked for a loop. It is not uncommon to slip into dejection or even depression. That is why I say that affirmations can actually be bad for you. However, let me hasten to add that the problem does not lie in the affirmations. It lies in the way in which you use them. This makes them a form of wishful thinking. For instance, you affirm that you are well off financially and are thinking, But I can’t even pay my bills, let alone go on vacation. Or you affirm that you are in a satisfying, nurturing relationship, and your actual mental chatter is, Who am I kidding? I’ve been eating alone for months and will have another lonely dinner tonight. Affirmations became popular due to the work of the French psychologist Émile Coué in the early twentieth century.

Maybe Someday

Coué noticed that when he gave a potion to a patient and simultaneously praised its effectiveness, the results were significantly better than when he simply provided the medicine and said nothing. Coué came to the conclusion that any idea that occupied your mind exclusively would turn into reality, and he developed a form of autosuggestion. He encouraged his patients to repeat to themselves, Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. He also came up with a routine in which they did so at specified times and in specified ways, and he achieved many remarkable cures. What is not so well known is that Coué also discovered that his method would not work if the patient made an independent judgment about the affirmation, and he warned that, if used improperly, his method could be dangerous. When you affirm something and feel deep down that you’re kidding yourself, then you are. The mental chatter that spontaneously arises saying that what you’re affirming is simply not true is a form of judgment, and it more than neutralizes the affirmation. Oh no, they are very real indeed. That is why you have not had much luck with affirmations as a tool to get you out of the circumstances you find distasteful. You have to take appropriate action that matches what you are affirming. The reason most people fail is that they choose an affirmation that is the exact opposite of the situation they are experiencing. They all wish it were so, but they know it is not.

Don't You Want To Be There?

Pick an affirmation that is closer to what you think is the truth. It doesn’t matter what is possible or not. What matters is what you think is possible. Remember the scene in Pretty Woman where the prostitute played by Julia Roberts triumphantly reveals that she would have spent the night for half the sum paid, and the character played by Richard Gere amusedly divulges that he would have paid twice the sum he did. That’s how it works. It is your belief that governs what you experience. If your desire is to lose weight, lay off the pizza and go to the gym. Affirmations can indeed manifest wonderful changes in your life, but you have to take actions that permit this to happen. You cannot expect to win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket. See if you can honestly believe that affirmation. If you can’t, change it to one that seems within the realm of possibility. For example, you are in debt, and affirming that you’re wealthy isn’t working.

Kiss Your Past Good—Bye

Instead, try affirming that your level of debt is declining. Then act in accordance with your new affirmation. No more double lattes. Scissor your credit cards, and brown bag your lunch. Do this regularly and you will soon be in a position to go back to the original affirmations you used. This time they will work. There is something you want quite a bit, possibly even desperately. A more congenial boss. Better relations with your spouse. A promotion so you can boss your irritating colleague around. To become a media darling. To have paparazzi fighting to get exclusive pictures of you. Which would you choose? Think well before you answer, because this is not a trivial question. It is really quite profound, and if and when you really come to grips with it, it can dramatically change your life. There were also hawkers moving around with baskets of wares, and one of them had something that caught my eye. One side, called Just like Daddy, was blue and featured a little boy who did various things like brushing his teeth and eating his breakfast just like Daddy. The other side was pink and called Just like Mommy, and it followed a little girl who did various things just like her mother. It did not count as literature, and I was already reading abridged versions of classics. It did not sit well with me. I withdrew emotionally from my parents in a marked manner and was chagrined when this withdrawal was not noticed. Like a skillful general, I changed tactics and bawled. He had a touching faith in my ability to deliver. Perhaps dinner for his family hinged on my effort. My dear mother was a frugal lady who, at the time, hardly ever bought anything for herself. She saw a purse she liked and was about to purchase it. It was my opening, and I grabbed it with the practiced ease of Tarzan reaching for the next vine.