A Growing Sense Of Unease

Notice how often you avoid intimacy and connection by telling jokes. The stronger and more harmonious our internal structure is, the stronger and more resilient we are to the forces of the outside world. And don’t limit your ‘listening’ to just what she says. As you grow in confidence and really sink into your Peacemaker, you’ll start to become aware of so much more. You might notice that she’s wearing fancy shoes that don’t match what she says she does for work. The way she walks doesn’t match what she’s studying. She might sound happy when she tells you she’s on her way to do something boring, or bored when she tells you about something that is supposed to be exciting. She might seem too relaxed for a Sunday, too hyper for a Monday morning, or too zen for a Wednesday afternoon. Once you really start paying attention, you’ll notice so many things that you can bring up that, combined with what she actually says, you will find that you never run out of things to say ever again. Magician or Trickster, your focus during your interactions needs to be listening to what the woman is saying and then engaging in what I call Conversation Flow. This is where you actively add to the conversation when it is your turn to speak. You listen intently to what the woman is saying, and then you add something that is relevant to what she just said.

Hurts Just A Little

It could be something you know about the subject, a story that is related, or it could be an admission that you know nothing about that subject followed by your naive assumption. Yeah, I thought it’d be something like that. It’s weird how sometimes you can totally guess what a person does by the way they look. Huh, that’s unusual. I run a business, and all my best friends are business guys as well. Is it because other actors or actresses are in competition with you, or is everyone just too busy to hang out? Don’t analyse my content too much, this isn’t from a real situation, I’m just making this up on the spot to show you the difference in the kind of conversation that occurs when you actually add to the conversation. You have the idea that you can guess what people do, you’ve got having diversity in your social circle, you’ve got competition among friends, and the topics available will only grow and grow as the conversation progresses. Make an effort to socialise with women as much as possible. Stop trying to sleep with every woman you meet. Make friends with women and grow a social circle. If you are a Trickster, practice not telling jokes. Listen to what women say and stay present with them in the present moment.

Keep On Going

Instead of only replying with questions, grow conversations with your own ideas, thoughts, and feelings every time it is your turn to talk. A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission, a life purpose, and he needs to know his name. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into. Modern man faces a growing sense of unease. As we become adults we start to get a nagging feeling that something essential is missing deep within us. This existential angst compels us to embark on a quest to discover who we are. We want to find ourselves, to know thyself, to discover our purpose, to learn our mission. What we are really looking for is our inner King. Today the closest thing to Kings we have to serve are our bosses, celebrities and politicians, which are often poor substitutes. Some find comfort in religious King archetypes, like men who find him, but everyone not attracted to religion has to rely on themselves to develop their own sovereign King. The first of those is all of the energies related to order, like wisdom, truth, justice, harmony and balance.

Real Life Challenges

A man with a strong King at the center of his being is a force to be reckoned with. The King stands alone from the other archetypes, though, at the center of our Attraction Model. This is because the King is very distinct from the others. The King is the father, the leader, the decision maker, the law giver. He represents your truth, your values, your spirit, and all the other archetypes are expressed through him as their lens. Like the keystone in a bridge needs the other stones to be effective, the King needs the other archetypes supporting him to give him form. The degree to which you are channeling your other archetypes is the degree to which you will have developed your inner King. Another way to think about the King is like the central avatar to your core identity. Imagine a computer game character that had six skills that you could level up. A less geeky way of thinking about our King is just as our internal psychic structure that is constructed from our masculine archetypes. The more developed our masculine archetypes, the more internal balance, harmony, and truth we will feel building within us. We all have a deep, powerful yearning to be validated by our peers and superiors. Whether we are aware of it or not, or whether we admit it or not, we all want the approval of the head of the company, that man whose work we admire, or that figure, whether biological or not. We seek this blessing from outside Kings, and sometimes we get it, but often we can find ourselves chasing blessings that never come, or are never enough to quench our thirst. The solution, then, is to discover how to develop our own internal king so we can give the blessing ourselves. It feels like it could withstand some blows where the cheaper version would disintegrate. They are the nice guys of the Attraction Model. Let’s explore these now.