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Keeping An Open Mind

on February 07, 2022

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One of the main aspects of reaching a peaceful compromise is actually following through with the resolution. This will show your partner that you truly accepted the agreement to compromise and are willing to compromise entirely, not just make empty promises just so you could end the fight at that moment. Remember to love and treat each other as much as you would love to be treated and loved. Keeping an open mind, being willing to change make adjustments and follow through on your agreement, not trying to be right in the first place, and searching for common ground might help you avoid arguments in the future. But even if you can’t avoid all the arguments in your relationship, at least you know how to reach a peaceful compromise. Learn to compromise which is an act of bending a little because it is a better alternative to breaking. But when it comes to relationship matters, is silence actually golden? Well, the truth is, it depends on what type of silence. Then you might ask, are there different types of silence? Yes, there are, and we are going to examine them in the light of relationships. We have a type of silence that involves taking a moment to think things through and reflect on how to address an issue at a later time. This is healthy silence in relationship. In this case, a partner or both partners decide to take some time put to ponder over a challenging situation in their relationship with a view to resolving it for peaceful coexistence. It could be that the issue is so complex that they could not resolve it at the moment, most importantly, trying to forcing each other to resolve it at the moment could be causing more problems by escalating the current one.

The Adventure of A Lifetime

The Adventure of A Lifetime

For example, a partner may think it is best to take a timeout from a heated argument to calm down, gather their thoughts, and revisit the issue with a clearer mindset. Also, a partner might choose not to say anything to their mate who is throwing insults and abuse at them just so they would prevent the situation from escalating and leading to more abuse. Then, there is the other type of silence in relationships. It is the silent treatment. Some people prefer to call it ’withholding.’ And some others prefer to call it ’cold shoulder’. The silent treatment occurs when a spouse refuses to talk with their partner for hours, a day, or days as a way of punishing their partner or as a way of regaining control of or manipulating their partner. Such a spouse usually does not have any intention of discussing the problem now or later. No doubt, you can see the stack difference between the silent treatment and the other silence we talked about earlier. How can spouses in a relationship who have promised to love and cherish each other refuse to talk to each other for some time? And, how on earth did they get to that point? The misleading that of it all is that both of the partners or the main partner who views silence as a weapon will falsely believe that the method is at least, preventing them from fighting. But the truth is that the silent treatment is just a manipulative weapon that only leaves very significant issues in a relationship unresolved. Worse yet, the silent treatment is so unhealthy that if left unchecked, it can gradually become a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse system that leaves the receiving partner feeling undervalued, unloved, badly hurt, frustrated, angry, and confused.

Who Cares

Some partners consider silent treatments as a weapon for exerting revenge, retaliation or for punishing their spouse. Consider this common scenario in which a husband makes plans for some vacation without discussing it with the spouse. When his spouse learns about it, she becomes fumes and becomes upset with her husband. To express her indignation, he says her husband is insensitive. This does not go down well with the husband who turns around to the wife and says she is being oversensitive. The wife becomes more upset, and feels badly hurt as a result she stews in silence as a way of punishing her husband or a way or retaliating because she feels her husband has hurt her feelings badly, she has to retaliate in kind by refusing to engage in any conversation with him. Another reason a partner would resort to silent treatment is to exert a measure of control over their partner, or to manipulate their partner. In this case, those who are on the giving end of silent treatment consider this act as a method that can help them have their way with whatever they want. Those who give in to silent treatment sometimes do so when they expect their partner to read their mind. They reason that since they have been badly hurt by their partner, they shouldn’t be the one to spell it out to their partner that they feel hurt. Their partner should read their mind, see through it, understand what they are, how they feel about what their partner has done or said to hurt them, and then approach them with a resolution. So they refuse to talk just to protect themselves from all the feels.

Coming Round Again

But, can your partner read your mind? Should You even expect your partner to be able to read your mind? It is understandable why you expect your partner to read your mind, but what you probably fail to realize is that your partner is not a mind reader. That form of silence can turn out to benefit the couple, after all, there is a time to keep quiet. But when it is used as a weapon to retaliate, control or manipulate your partner, the silent treatment not only extends conflict and leaves major conflicts unresolved, but also undermines the respect the couple has for each other. So, can you do to deal with such a situation?

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