Moving Practice And Affirmation

Being honest can bring forth a reality that might be hard to face, but you don’t have to do it alone. They tell you what to do rather than show you a different way. In addition, being a recruit is the worst way to convince someone to change. Sometimes you need a recruit, but other times, you need an ambassador. Discernment determines which is best. This went on for a year. We were tired of battling each other. It was difficult to sleep in the same room, and in a short period of time we knew that things needed to shift or we were done. At the time, we were living in Laurel Canyon. We hadn’t paid the mortgage in over a year, and we knew we would have to find a new place to live. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew that for us to shift our perspective, we had to get out of our environment. We needed a fresh start in a new city.

Keep On Breaking The Rules

I was submerged by the familiar doubt that crept in any time a big decision needed to be made. If it doesn’t work, just come home. Even though I wouldn’t have a home to come to, I knew she was right. That gave me the comfort I needed to agree to move. In The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, the practice of nonattachment is vital. Not every decision has to be etched in stone. We can change our minds, try something on for size, and if it doesn’t fit, move on. Our friends showed up to wish us well on our journey and told us they would be there when we decided to move back. We would drive to our new home separately. I got as far as the bottom of our street before I burst into tears. I went back and forth in my mind about the pros and cons of making such a big move. I’d never driven by myself for longer than five hours.

Mental Pain Is Less Dramatic Than Physical Pain

She spoke with subtle Texan inflections, and I responded aloud as if she were speaking directly to me. As I drove and listened, I cycled through excitement, sadness, rage, curiosity, and fear. The fear set in somewhere near the Oregon border. I tried to focus on positive thoughts. That’s when I noticed my iPod hadn’t been charging and was almost out of battery. It began raining as I arrived in Medford, Oregon. Torry and I had been checking in with each other, and we decided to stop there for a bite. Big rigs raced by, covering my windshield with a sea of water that made the road lines barely visible. I glanced at my phone to see where I was on the map. My iPod was dead, and my dog and I were both crying. This was the end, I was going to die in a terrible car accident with my dog on my way to Portlandia. When we got to our designated stop, Torry was already there.

Into The Heart

The moving truck had left him stranded a few miles back, but he managed to get there before me. He rushed over to see what was wrong, and I let him have it. I blasted him with all the ways he’d feel bad when something terrible happened to me. I didn’t even want to move! The truth about how I felt began pouring out. All my fears, all the ways I felt unseen and unheard. He listened intently, until my cycle of rage was complete. He helped me back to my car and drove in front of me until we made it to Portland at 4:00 a.m. Over the next few days, he was able to speak his truth as well. We both listened and reflected. We can withstand an unmeasurable amount of emotional wear and tear. If you honor that, you can be radically honest without fear. My biggest fear was that telling Torry the truth would end our relationship, and it did. It will be like Groundhog Day minus the happy ending. We spend a lot of time distracting ourselves from the pain of life. We believe that life is hard because we are doing something wrong and it’s our fault. If we see other people living their best life and we aren’t, it’s because of us. Remember, you are resilient. Take a chance to do things differently. When in doubt, remember who you are and that you are radically loved. Being honest can be supported by your loved ones. If we are too weak to hold up the mirror, someone else can do it for us. The truth is, life is hard for everyone. When we are honest and treat ourselves with compassion, grace enters and healing begins, though it might not look like you thought it would. Early in our relationship, Torry and I attended a ballet performance by the American Dance Theater. A prominent choreographer who created a multiracial modern dance ensemble to bring African American dance to all audiences. When you are in the presence of grace, even if you don’t feel it, it can’t help but pour into your empty glass. When I saw the level of grace, soul, and beauty integrated into movement, I finally got it. Ballet represented the ability to do something with ease, to glide through with strength, but without force. Allow grace to enter and consider evaluating old beliefs that weren’t placed there by you, and how you would see things differently without them. Practice radical honesty. Place your hand over your heart. Repeat the affirmation I am radically loved and receive grace fully. Never have any problems. Yours doesn’t have to look like mine. No one loves feeling uncertainty. In fact, most people do whatever they can to create a level of comfort, sometimes at the expense of moving forward. Here are a few ways to nourish yourself energetically while moving with life’s changes, wherever they may lead you. Being open can be challenging for some people.