Listen To Your Instincts

In study after study, those people who reported that they had a chance to do something they loved each and every day were far more likely to be high performers and to stay in the role than those who reported that they believed in the mission of the company or liked their teammates. Listen to your instincts, try to find a role in which you might catch a glimpse of a red thread or two, then, as you move down the path, keep your eyes peeled for more red threads. When you find one, grab hold and follow where it leads. But be mindful that of the three, the what is the most significant. If you believe in the product you’re selling, but hate selling, you won’t succeed. Likewise, if you greatly admire the members of your team, but find yourself in the wrong role on the team, you will struggle. So, before you take any job, discipline yourself to investigate exactly what sort of activities will be filling your working week. But instead, ask about what specific activities they are doing at 10 a.m. Down this path lies burnout. And, as the Red Thread Questionnaire will reveal for you, when it comes to the what, the details matter. When I first started at Gallup, I was delivering results to each person who took one of our strengths assessments, and writing up a report on how this person could grow by leveraging their strengths. I was pretty good at it.

A Voice In The Wilderness

The report writing, I mean. But the activity itself left me cold. What’s wrong with me? And she replied, Nothing’s wrong with you. Have you tried presenting? Maybe you’re more cut out for communicating in larger groups. I tried it, and I was. Until I realized I didn’t. And so the scavenger hunt continued. Do you have a chance to use your strengths every day? In the last week, have you felt excited to work every day? Those who answered strongly agree were far more likely to have a boss who reports that I always turn to this person for outstanding results, far more likely to stick around for more than a year, and far more likely to answer the engagement and resilience items positively. Notice the words every day in each question? The questions don’t ask about all day every day, but they do ask the respondent to own and claim every day. What does this mean for you? Any day that goes by without you finding something to love, something to get excited about, raises the chance that you will, over time, become less engaged and less productive. No, you won’t ever find the perfect job, a job you love 100 percent of the time. It might be the thinnest of red threads, but you can find it.

No Regrets

At least, you can find it if you are deliberate in looking for it. So, begin each morning by spending a few minutes anticipating what the red threads of the day might be. Which instances or activities you think will lift you today. When it comes to love, extreme frequency trumps extreme intensity. So discipline yourself to devote a little attention at the beginning of each day to pick out your loves for the day. In this sense, your enemy here isn’t necessarily that you don’t have any red threads in your work. Your enemy is distraction. You’ve stopped paying attention to which moments you love, and so, like all ignored things, those moments have withered and lost their potency. The antidote here is your attention. Pay attention to the red threads you’re going to find at work today, and you’ll get from them what you need. It’s a breakdown in the motor neurons that slowly causes the patient to lose control of her muscles. Me and the kids have to watch her die, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.

One Day At A Time

Today, twelve years into a disease that typically kills in three, she is still very much alive. Yes, she can no longer move, or eat, or speak, or even breathe by herself, but she’s still in there. Each letter has to be selected individually, so for someone as smart and verbal as her, the speed of communication, or lack thereof, must be incredibly frustrating. But at least she can still connect with the rest of us. I thought she might be able to teach us something. Marcus, all I can tell you is that I choose to focus on those things I can control. There’s so much of my life now that I can’t control that if I focused on all I’ve lost, I would be suicidal by dinnertime. Instead, I focus on what is still within my control. I can still be a good mother to my kids. I can still be a spouse to my husband. I can still be there as a friend. As I’m writing this, at this very moment, she’s just texted me right now. That is such a hard day for you and I am sorry you had to go through that. I remember how he was always a part of your life and how much you loved him. I know you must be devastated, but he adored you, so please hold on to that thought. Sending love as always. Imagine how long this one text must have taken for her to construct. While she’s lying in her bed, sores on her body, frozen in place, she’s not railing against her plight. She’s thinking of how I must be feeling this week, and is reaching out to show her love. She is still right there, and can still be exactly the kind of friend that she ever was. I bring up B because of course she can teach us something. You can’t control how your company performs with all its customers, you can’t dictate who your boss is, you can’t change that daft performance appraisal form, or that certification you’re required to take.