Where Do Relationship Myths Come From?

The very first step to finding new love is to stop believing everything you’ve heard about love and relationships, and to start with the facts and a fresh, clean slate. Is hanging on to beliefs that aren’t supported by science really that bad? Clearing out those dusty old cobwebs and misconceptions about relationships makes dating so much easier. By learning what relationship research tells us about how men and women relate, behave, and think, you can approach dating and relationships with fresh, unbiased knowledge. This is important because when you stop buying into the myths, you’ll have more realistic expectations. You’ll be less frustrated and more likely to find a partner who’s a good fit for you. And you can stop being swayed by what other people tell you romance is supposed to feel like, or how you’ve found it to be in your past relationships. Buying into myths not only affects your attitude and expectations, but also subconsciously drives your behavior. Doesn’t that sound great? Where Do Relationship Myths Come From? Many beliefs about love and relationships have been ingrained in you since your youth. You’ve been influenced by your family life growing up, how your parents interacted, and by observing the ups and downs in your friends’ relationships. And you’ve probably learned a thing or two about love firsthand. You may have done everything possible to learn about relationships, but the problem is, most of the tips and advice that are out there and repeated as fact are, in actuality, firmly rooted in fiction. By casting a wide net, my research captures the complex, varied, and common experiences of a diverse group of people.

Don't Let It Show

But, in most cases, the average experience of the average person can be applied to most of us and our concerns about dating, relationships, and love. Do You Break the Mold? As you read the findings from relationship research, don’t worry if all of my advice doesn’t ring true. About 5 to 10 percent of us break the mold in every research study. Some findings will resonate with you in an aha moment, and other times you’ll think, Wow, that doesn’t represent me at all! How Much Do You Really Know about Relationships? Most of us think we know a lot about relationships and that what we believe is true. But do you really know as much as you think you do? Here’s a fun way to find out. There’s a definite period of time after a divorce or breakup before you’re ready to get out there and date again. When you’re dating, it’s best to disclose everything about yourself in the beginning so your partner knows the real you, no secrets or surprises. Women have more romantic thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about relationships and love than men. Women fall in love faster than men do. Conflict and arguments in a relationship are a sign of trouble. There is no such thing as a good breakup. Add up the number of False answers you circled.

What Happens Tomorrow?

This is your Relationship Intelligence Score. Read on to learn more about the realities behind these myths. You’re a relationship myth buster! You’re leading the relationship pack and are in a great position to learn even more about gender and relationship behavior. How do these myths impact your everyday life? Still not convinced that they do? Let’s dig down and explore the scientific facts behind each of these eight relationship myths, one by one, so you can change your beliefs and become one step closer to finding love and a healthy relationship. After a marriage or relationship ends, you need to wait before you start dating again. There are no set time lines to follow, and only you will know when you’re ready to get into the dating world again. Don’t jump into a relationship now, you’re on the rebound! or You were in a relationship for ten years. Sean and Beth met in their last year of college, dated for eight months, and were married in a beautiful church wedding soon after graduation. Sean jumped straight into med school, while Beth took a lucrative job that had her commuting into the city’s financial district each morning at five and returning at eight or nine at night. As their work hours grew, their lifestyles and goals diverged, and Sean and Beth spent less and less time with each other. They were living in two different worlds, and Sean felt like he didn’t even know Beth anymore. When Beth told him she was moving to her own apartment in the city and wanted a divorce, Sean was heartbroken.

What's Done Is Done

His friends tried to hook him up with women and blind dates, telling him to shop around and have some fun with no strings attached. Was his sister right? Contrary to what your friends or family may tell you, studies show there is no predetermined period of time after a divorce or breakup before you are ready to start dating again. You may hear that you should wait one month for every year you and your ex were together. These are all myths. There are no facts or evidence to support any of these statements. In fact, scientific research paints a very different picture. What research and studies do show is that whether you are ready to date after a breakup depends on your prior relationship and your emotional attachment to that relationship. Studies find that some people, most often women, emotionally separate from their partner or spouse while they are still in the relationship. When the relationship finally ends, they’re ready to find love again right away because they’ve already worked through their feelings. Men, on the other hand, typically avoid dealing with their emotions until they’ve physically separated from their partner. For most men, it takes a physical separation before they are able to internalize their feelings, work through their emotions, and come to terms with what’s happened. Many people who go to counseling, try to work things out with their partner.