What Is It That Can't Wait?

You’ve heard about teachable moments? What a reminder that sometimes we get an idea in our heads about what’s important. So I walked over to his desk and stood there, eyebrows raised. He nodded, like I was doing just what he wanted. I was thinking, Do you know all I’m trying to get done? What is it that can’t wait? He was on a Zoom call. Just thinking of it gets me teary. We push things aside right now because we’re anticipating what will be. That moment with my son taught me to not miss out on the present in my haste to create the future I want for us. If I spend my life looking forward, I’ll miss out on what He has for me now. Now when I feel that urge to power into my own accomplishments and ambition, I take a deep breath. Do you feel supported in the balance between your family and your responsibilities? When you need help, where do you seek it? Recall a time when you were best supported, and offer up gratitude. Consider where else you might pursue additional backup, whether that support is practical or emotional. All relationships require intentionality.

Weather To Fly

I’m intentional about my relationship with Benjamin, and together we are intentional about raising our family. When a baby is born, our every interaction with that child shows them what they can expect of us. We want them to know that we love them, that they can trust us. As they grow, we educate them. We teach them to read, to do math. In our house, with seven kids, pretty much every waking moment is a teachable moment. There are ups and downs, of course, but most days I feel like we’re making progress. It’s about honestly preparing them for the treatment they may receive simply because of the color of their skin. In this house, our expectations for you are clear. You know what the rules are and what happens when you don’t obey them. But out there in the world, things are different. If you get pulled over by a police officer, put your hands on the steering wheel, where they are clearly visible.

You Will Know

Do exactly what you are told. Do not argue or talk back. Your life literally depends on how you handle this situation. And if I’m honest, I resent having to say anything like this to my kids. And yet it happens all the time. Sometimes I wonder, At what point will my precious twin sons go from being called adorable to being perceived as threats, simply because of the color of their skin? That man’s name was Alton Sterling. Soon this was all anyone could think about or talk about. I remember feeling a strange mix of horror and relief. Sterling had died at the hands of men who had sworn to protect the city’s citizens, including him. And relief, because due to Benjamin’s recent surgery on his Achilles, he wasn’t able to drive for several weeks. What if the police pulled him over? I share it as a slice of reality. And the reality of many of our friends and neighbors.

Through The Storm

Since then, Benjamin and I have discussed this issue publicly and openly, as often as we can. We address racism on our podcast. And we speak about it often with our children. Change starts in the heart, then takes hold in our homes, and we walk it out in our relationships. It’s not a simple topic to address. There aren’t bullet points or instant fixes. There’s a lot of tension around this issue, even with our close family members and friends. So I return to my breathing. Can’t you feel the grace in that reminder? This truth emboldens me to speak with candor and love. Racism is not an easy topic. Love is needed if we’re going to stay engaged in relationship. And truth is the only way to push through to the other side. So let’s take a big inhale. If we paint every person in a group with the same brush, we know for sure we are getting it wrong. No two people share the same story. These shortcuts hurt more than they help. As a mom, I want my kids to be exposed to people and images of people who look like them and also those who look different from them. What kind of world would this be if we all looked just the same, if every flower were the same color, size, shape, and smell? What if the sky were always the same shade of blue, with no sunrises of gold or sunsets of pink, purple, and a hundred other hues? So that separation has been healed, once and for all. The consequence of sin between us as humans, however, is more complicated. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. The devil, on the other hand, is all about division. He wants to divide us and pick us off, one by one. He divides by using deception and false promises, by playing to our vanity and our desire for power. The devil seems to be working overtime right now. A quick scroll through the news or social media shows how much division there is in our world. What we need now, sisters, is clarity. Let’s tap into those sources of wisdom and power as together we take a breath and have our own version of the Talk. Think about that contrast for a minute. This list includes some really obvious sins to avoid, like witchcraft and idolatry. If you’re like me, you probably read this passage and think, Whew! I don’t have to worry about that one now! To invite love and restoration into the body. Here are three ways we can do just that. We are often quick to point fingers at other people but slow to acknowledge and confess our own biases and the sin in our own hearts.