Are We Born Anxious?

During the night when I was awake and flooded with anxiety, my mind would race with other potential threats to my daughter and how I could avoid them. I was filled with questions like, would I be too anxious to take care of her? This led me to solve these problems by staying awake – always! Although I got through this period, it stole the precious time I had of just being with my baby girl. My primary motivation was not just for myself but for my daughter, so it was especially important for me to find answers. Part of understanding triggers is finding the inspiration for where to start healing. Identifying and understanding triggers is just one part of the puzzle. There are also biological factors and our learned behavior that adds to our anxious mind. Are we born anxious? Or is it something we learn? There are biological reasons why some people are more susceptible to anxiety. This does not mean that you are born with anxiety or that anxiety is a core element of who you are, and neither does it mean that it’s something you have to just learn to live with. It merely means some people are more sensitive to an anxious response than others. Once we learn to recognize the physical sensations of anxiety, we can train ourselves to respond differently. Biologically, one theory for the cause of anxiety is a hormone or chemical imbalance. Or, have too little serotonin, the hormone responsible for our feelings of contentment.

Everybody Out There

It can be controversial to say anxiety is learned, but I think this can be quite reassuring. After all, anything that is learned can be changed. Neuroscientists talk of neural plasticity, which is how the brain grows and changes to create new pathways of thinking. Basically, it is possible to interrupt the brain’s default way of thinking and change it for the better or not. For example, if we feel anxious in a grocery store, we devise an escape plan for if we start to feel panicky. We make a mental note of where the exits are, and while shopping, we reroute the escape. But then something unexpected happens, such as running into a talkative friend. Our body reacts out of fear that we can’t escape and runs at an increased speed of thought trying to find other options of escape. Now, eventually, everything works out, and we leave the store. Every time I go out, this happens, so I might as well stay home, so it doesn’t happen again. This is how we learn an anxiety behavior pattern. My father suffered from anxiety and depression throughout my childhood.

A Long Way From Home

This was never talked about in the home, and it wasn’t something I was aware of until my late teens, but looking back, I can see how the anxious brain of my twenties made me behave in very similar ways to him. I became obsessed with routine and completely intolerant of noise, exactly like he was. I had learned his coping mechanisms for anxiety and was using them because they were all I had to work with! Who knows how different things would have been for both of us had anxiety been talked about and understood in the 1980s as it is now. So, while many factors cause anxiety, it often creates a vicious cycle in our minds. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Once we identify our anxieties, even if we don’t wholly understand them or our triggers, we can work on learning how to break our negative patterns. For example, we may experience panic when we hear yelling, slamming doors, or loud noises. Or, we may experience anxiety when we witness someone else going through a similar experience we have had. Perhaps you are watching a movie, and you watch something that triggers a traumatic memory, and now you’re experiencing some form of panic and anxiety. Meaning it starts to control how we live our daily lives. Because of this, you may not always know where the trauma is coming from. Grief is incredibly painful and is a personal journey that is different for everyone and unfortunately something we all experience in our lives.

You've Got A Friend

However, usually, the journey of grief does get easier over time and we begin to feel hope and joy again as time passes. Grief happens in stages and anxiety is one stage that is normal in the grieving process. But when we find ourselves continuing to be in this anxious state over a long period of time, the anxiety is acting as a habit that is unavoidable. An anxiety disorder that stems from grief is sustained and unmoving. For example, your child goes off to college, you may have an empty feeling and go into mourning. However, the feeling should pass within a short matter of time once you become used to your child being away, once you realize that they aren’t really gone. On the other hand, if these anxious feelings continue, and we stay stuck in the grieving process of the life event, we may start to experience feelings of anxiety surrounding our emotions especially if we cannot control your feelings anymore. 9For many, grief happens in stages which is normal, however, anxiety in grief can last for much too long, resulting in avoidance behavior or withdrawal from ourselves and others. This is anxiety in grief. You cannot take pleasure from anything and your mood refuses to lift regardless, possibly turning into depression. Anxiety is then triggered by the relentless feeling of hopelessness for the future. It is incredibly important to seek help for grief, whether that be taking therapy or medicinal help. Why do I have anxiety? We have a deeper understanding of what anxiety is, we can start resolving it healthily. Anxiety is not something you have to grit your teeth and live through. The anxious mind can be changed to react in more appropriate ways to serve our lives better. Why is my skin tingly?